Jonah 2:2 "I
called out of my distress to the Lord, And He answered me. I cried for help
from the depth of Sheol; You heard my voice…"
4:11 "Should I
not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than
120,00 persons who do not know the difference between their right an left hand,
as well as many animals."
As I sit this
morning, I realize, I have not given thanks to the Lord for salvation near
enough.
It seems that we get to a place where we are Free an we forget to be thankful for the freedom, we so quickly forget where we came from an even more drastically what we came through. I was oppressed, broken, suffocated, damaged, and trapped; of which I mostly brought on myself.
As I flip through scripture an just pause to read Jonah, I started
squalling like an infant. In disobedience rooted in fear, I ran from the
presence of the Lord, I wanted to handle all of everything on my own. I did not
have time to wait in vulnerability to allow him to show me a way or give me
understanding or peace in the unknown. I refused to follow a call when I did
not have control, because I thought I had my own plans all sorted out.. (JOKE)
I'm sure I read
Jonah several times growing up, and I've probably quoted the plot 5X's more
than I ever thought to read it; but a friend recently directed me to Jonah an I
read it and saw so many relevant truths in what I had recently been talking about or writing. But today as I fell into Jonah, I was taken by a vision of seeing the pit
of my own fish that I recently was expelled from. That may be dramatic, but I
spent quite some time the last few years in a pit, that smelled worse than any
fish I've ever smelt, it was dark, slimy, an just a slippery mess. There was no way I
could pull myself out. I am not clear on the time line for when Jonah went in
the wale, to when Jonah cried up to the Lord; but I know it took me a long
time. When I think of it now, in my experience, I feel
like Dory an Marlin in Finding Nemo, I was quick to call for help, but I was
still holding on to the inside of the Wale, because I was so afraid of the
journey up.
How crazy is that,
who is scared of the journey up? Up means better, right? Jonah's cry out to the Lord, was so personable an so
sincere, he knew the Lord heard him from the depth. In the pit Jonah's prayer
did not include a plethora of empty promises, Jonah just declared the truth of
who the Lord was an cried out to remember the Lord and give him praise for
salvation.
I was so afraid of
not being able to make enough promises to righteousness while I was in the
belly, I saw no point in crying out to the Lord; I had nothing to offer him.
But over time, I began to understand the Lord did not desire empty promises to
righteousness from me; he knows he is the only one that is righteous. The Lord
God just wanted me to see that salvation is from him, an he could free me. I feel that many of us stay so broken and lost in the pits of darkness, afraid to call out, because we are stuck in this mindset that we have to be "right" to be with the Lord... That is so ridiculous, and just a continual journey in bondage.
After time, I
finally cried out, for I realized it was nothing I could do to climb out of
that belly, but the Lord himself was gracious an he is the one who is righteous
and brings salvation. When I was finally expelled from the fish, it has not
been an instant adapting to the main land. I still feel vulnerable to sun
light, people, heck even fresh air.
I often feel like
Jonah when he finally follows the Lord to Nineveh. Mostly confused because it
is baffling to know that there is a gracious God there willing to relent. It
seems so hard to grasp the very thing Jonah cries out, "I knew that You
are gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in loving
kindness, and one who relents concerning calamity". I remember series of
events that got me into the belly of the whale, one of which being I did not
follow suit walking in the understanding of the need to tell of the love of
God. I did not understand His grace (Let's be real, I still do not understand
on any scholarly level, psst on most levels), I did not understand the urgency to just love and
forgive, walking in a peace of repentance to just turn to the Lord.
I've been pained with the stories lately from friends that are crying out, "why can't we just love each other.. who cares, who they are or how they live, that's not our business, let's just love.." But like Jonah before he was swallowed by the wale, most of us have our own agenda. It seems many "Christians" think it is there responsibility to convict, they say that's them loving because they are burdened for someone's soul.... what that is, is a tragic excuse to allow yourself an others to continue living in bondage. It is our responsibility to be particular about our God and being particular about God is to show love, that is who he is.. It is not our job to persecute or stay silent when the Lord leads us. Be the voice that brings hope of the one that is compassionate and gracious to save.
I have to rejoice
that I may see this story of Jonah alive, because I pray that I do not sit
outside of the city gates angry with the Lord's loving kindness and grace; but
however I pray that I may embrace the Lord as he Loves those who do not know
and shows compassion on his people.. "For they do not know". I want
to be angry at so many people for not loving each other or for walking in
arrogance and hate, I get passionately frustrated because I do not comprehend
how the Lord still shows compassion on those who hurt or reject others; but I realize I myself am guilty of making my own choice to love some an eh, not so much some others... I get caught up forgetting where I was, but I
have to remember once, I was in the belly of a great fish, and the Lord heard
my cry.
