Scones, Coffee, Jesus and Smokes

Today as I Sit in one of my favorite places in Shreveport, there is an enlightenment I feel processing through the Journey I have been on... It's been exhausting, liberating and beautiful. I realized that it all has purpose... Every step we take and every dream, we dream, there are beautiful parts of our lives that foster the identity we hope to one day find..

Several months ago I decided to forsake an identity I once had, I was done with "Christianity", I was done with the rigid bull crap and list of rules that I had set my life around.... Those boundaries hindered my ability to be free and love... I was so angry at God for everything, I put all the blame on His nature and on His demand for "righteousness".... I gave up on Him, I wanted to run from every ounce of all that I ever knew... 

Like Dolald Miller portrays in "Searching for God Knows What", leaving that god, a god that I had figured out was the best thing I could have done. 

I'm still journeying through all of this and trying to see with new eyes & I know the adventure will never be over, for that I am thankful.... But here is one thing that helped me take a few more steps into realizing that God wasn't to blame, his impostors however are the ones I needed to renounce!! 

"The Bible.... It's not a road map to show you the way to live; it's not a list of dos an don'ts; how to and how not to....

It is however a map to show you the character of the one true God! It's a journey of foundational stories that allow you to get to see the faithful one and how He loves: through discipline, obedience, honor, faith, kindness, harsh reality and soo much more!! Don't forsake scripture because you see the rigid lines people create with their expectations for you to live in a culture that's not your own; however you should see scripture as what it is, a story of truth about a faithful God who loves in his own way and chooses to love us within the culture that we live.. He doesn't require us to conform to a generation not our own... I want to choose to Believe this idea and have faith in a creator bigger than myself! Maybe it's crazy to believe in something unseen, but for whatever reason it may be, I'm gonna stand an run with the light of hope in something bigger than myself."

Most of my life I've held scripture as if it were a part of the "Trinity"... Ha sounds crazy, but I bet if you start thinking about it you just may relate.... But now I see scripture as a beautiful colorful Map that shows me a God that I may fear, because he is sooo much bigger than anything I can contain... There is a relevance in being able to read scripture as a love story and see how we were created to Need; created to need a relationship with an Intelligent Being who is more than we can contain..

Through the Process, Breathe!

Saturday, February 01, 2014

2:50 PM

When you're on the journey of your life, asking question, seeking more… desiring more.. You often get worn out if you forget to take the time to pause! Never in my life have I had respect or saw need to "slow down", but more than ever I value this crucial idea most of all. My favorite word the last week or so, is Selah, it has a plethora of relevant meanings that foster "pause".

The various Hebrew meanings for this word are all very fitting for how just saying it makes me feel. It is most commonly understood as a "pause" in a song; however some of it's other meaning include rock, stop and listen, to hang or weigh. It overwhelmed my soul when I thought of the power of one simple word. If you see Selah as "rock" there is solid foundation in that, just breathing and thinking upon something sturdy. I think it would be awesome to practice singing the lines to your favorite song that give you strength and courage to keep going; after you favorite line, just say "Selah", identify that line or phrase as your rock, a sturdy foundation for who you are (I bet you exhale a deep breath and have hope). We can use the same application with the other various meanings of Selah, do the same thing and act, pause, stop, just listen, hang out and weigh the meaning of what you just said. I love how every definition of this word just brings hope, it intensifies a psalm, a quote, a phrase, pretty much anything.

This concept is so crucial to be productive in our journeys through life. We often forget that we need to process for a period of time. It is rare that I have days where I am allowed to just sit back on the couch and think, wonder, or just dream; and it is even more difficult that I take time to see the moments during my daily chaos to just breathe.

Working 9-5 kind of jobs we usually just feel bogged down by the weight of task, just waiting on the clock to strike 5 but for what because usually there is an entire new task list waiting for you. I am beginning to see that sometimes there is actually time allotted or available to 'rest' in the midst of our days; it may just be possible to rest in the mundane.

I have been overwhelmed by life's demands, the issue of there is just never enough time in a day. I feel that the I've also spent a lot of time lately weighted down by the questions and concerns of my brain and heart.

Have you ever desired that you just had multiple copies of yourself? I mean seriously, we have 3D printers, now someone needs to really get serious about cloning(thanks scientist and future technology developers, I would greatly appreciate your work). If I just had at least 3 of me, I could have one handle work, one handle my emotions and one to handle the fun in life that I feel I often miss out on. It just definitely seems life takes up so much time and there is not room to breathe and pause for me to just be.

All of this curious non-sense of my day to day has gotten heavy tis why I think I have had such inspiration from the idea of Selah. we often have not set apart time to weigh the content of our days, but if we take the idea of the meaning of Selah into all areas of our lives, I promise there is hope of great joy to be found. As I have ultimately been crushing on this word (maybe a little infatuated with the idea of 'pause') I have seen great joy in some of the mundane moments of my chaotic work days as well in the normalcy of routine.

I definitely do not have it all together, but I am working on coaching myself to just breathe and be self aware of my moments.

"There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly LIVE." -Dalai Lama

Just take a second, "Selah".