Dreaming

I recently read a blog that really read me. This line, "I write to breathe again"...  It's the honest truth that's vital to me living. I have  been writing emotion and thoughts in various ways since I was little,  as a teenager I would write in code,  hiding my emotions and thoughts behind the identity of a fictional character. But as time has progressed I've seen many seasons of writing style and ideas. I went through a season where I thought I had to write everything in the form of a conversation to God in this manner of perfection,  bleeding onto paper this false reality of beautiful selflessness...  Now,  now I wrote the truth..  My confusion,  bitterness,  bitchiness, my love,  my hope, my fear.... Tonight I want to dream. I've thought a lot lately of the meaning of life and where hope comes from or the things that destroy hope.  Circumstances have been trying on my hope  for humanity,  but nights like tonight dreaming with family,  the kind of family that chooses to love you,  even though your dna doesn't match...  the dreaming with those kinda people is beautiful.. 
Life often chokes us with the rotten taste of Bullshit and it's hard to focus or remember the good... But dreaming,  it helps remind us of the treasures life has to offer. Just a glimpse of something worth hoping for or dreaming in, has power to help get the bitter taste out of our mouths. Thank goodness for the friendships with beautiful people that are comfortable with you at the lowest points,  because the excitement comes with a moment of the taste of goodness,  only adds to the joy you can experience in those moments. 
Experiencing  the beauty of dreaming and remembering that "I write to breathe again",  this moment comes to life and gives me reason to smile.  I can breathe,  I can breathe and taste,  tasting something other than the Bullshit is desirable. The Bullshit doesn't get to just disappear,  but just the sweetness that comes with dreaming,  reminds me that today and all the gross circumstances that put the nasty taste in my mouth isn't the only taste available.