Let's Go....

 I want nothing more than to be able to sit down and get on paper the many things that go on in my head; but that is WAY harder than it seems. You'd think I could just start writing an it be all dandy, but that is a big NEGATIVE. With feelings of inadequacy to the depth of fears from a plethora of categories, something just keeps me from being open an honest in a written form.

As time flies by, life goes on, people change, friends come an go; but some things only grow......
It was over two years ago since I last posted anything; and those post were only for school..
Today as I have spent time reading through all of the post, I am overwhelmed with memories.

The journey I have been on the last few years is almost like an imaginary tale; I think back, "did that really happen?"..

This is not a post to tell you the story in grave details all of the interesting things that happened in the last two years... But the is the pre- post of many thoughts that I will share from the journey that I traveled and honestly still traveling.. I have not arrived to some fancy place of perfection (that ain't reality for anyone). I have reached the season in this journey however that is far brighter than some past experiences. I'm curious to see where I am going, finding the places I belong in different seasons...

Reality is there is one truth that got me through and will get me through, the Lord is always with me: in the pit, in the palm of his hand, with my back facing him, with my stank face on, in my tears, in my rejoicing, everywhere.


I could sit an quote scripture, conversations and quotes, that help me make it through the day, but that will take too long an likely come in various things i share in the future... however, I will set a tone to an understanding of what I know of myself this far:
1. I love the Lord (in the best way I know how to love)
2. I make mistakes everyday: i smoke, i eat too much, i gossip, i yell, i don't like some people (an I so have NO poker face)
3. I have a best friend or 2 :) they help make days brighter
4. I love having conversations in my head an then torturing others with the details
5. I believe that every single thing created was created for COMMUNITY
6. Organized Religion often makes me ANGRY; but I like structure/order
7. Fellowship makes my heart overwhelmed with JOY
8. Being in a room with people that allow me to say F*** and JESUS in the same sentence, is a place I feel at home (hey if God is who most of us claim him to be, he knows what I was thinking anyway)...
9. People who use Biblical text to hurt someone intentionally make me want to vomit
10. I enjoy the comfort of being Real (but often TERRIFIED of Vulnerability)

Even when I've journeyed to the depths of the pit or stood in the midst of a storm sulking, the God I have hope in has given me reason to sing; He never gave up on me, never leaving me...