The Heights

Simultaneously I feel the wholeness and brokenness life seems to offer..  Driven with the desire to explore the unknown, I never thought I'd feel comfort in a dream I'm living right now. I've spent my life wanting to journey through the world,  gaining eyes and ears to see and hear in ways unknown to my own life. Today as I sit outside,  wandering what exactly I'm doing,  I realize it doesn't really matter because all we  have is time to explore.  Time to explore the things of life: love,  art,  music, desire... So many things the universe has to offer.  I've waited so long to feel this,  I thought it would look different and I had surprisingly unrealistic expectations,  but as I experience the authenticity of the unknown,  I realize this is it.. This is the adventure.. Spending time seeking identity and desiring wholeness,  I thought there would be tangible gifts that had a different form from what I now see.. The real gift I've been given,  is comfort of solitude.. Solitude has taken a form of tangible goodness that I appreciate more than I ever knew I could. Wandering in the wilderness,  I see the beauty of creation in a mesmerizing way.  Everything in the present  should leave me with a feeling of lonliness and confusion,  but somehow I feel the peace of creation.  The peace that exist when we rest in the unknown.. Trying to figure out comfort in a way that's inclusive of change and rest is beautiful.. Though comfort and change seem mutually exclusive,  I find today that there is an inclusive relationship between  the two.  As change has occurred everything I know says,  broken and lonliness is knocking,  but when I look and take in reality,  I realize I'm comforted  by the journey. 

STEADY MY HEART

1 Peter 1:24-25 CEB
"Thus, All human life on the earth is like grass, and all human glory is like a flower in a field. The grass dries up and its flower falls off, but the Lord’s word endures forever. This is the word that was proclaimed to you as good news."

You can spend so much time rejecting the peace that pursues you in the midst of all the chaos of the day, and you find yourself drained and lost. There's a hope forever that's greater than anything we can create, because it created us, a hope and a peace that exist through all the seasons, all the trials and all the fire: he endures. I've been so hesitant to give my life to the Father in fear of falling short, because in my mind I must be of certain value for him to want me... But that's a lie, and just pure irrationality,  that I've used to be lazy. It's so hard to just rest in the beauty of peace, that sounds ridiculous, but when you thrive on chaos you easily get lost in the midst of irrational ideas that are nothing but sinking sand. As I'm journeying through this new yet so familiar adventure, I'm reminded of how crucial a solid foundation is to being able to succeed. I want success in a way that's a little unorthodox to much I know.. Success I desire is not found in monetary/tangible gifts, however it is found in WHOLENESS, I could maybe experience as a human being. A human fully capable of loving, resting, rejoicing, being vulnerable, living.
The life we live on earth is TOO short to always live on a slippery slope of sinking sand, I want solid joy that's everlasting so that I may interact with my fellow man in a way that is encouraging an enlightening. I'm tired of so many what ifs and broken ideals, I want to rest in security, the security that's offered in the peace of the Father.

Help me Lord to cling to you, teach me your ways, show me your heart.. Let me be vulnerable with you.. Write my story,  and unending tale of waking with you,  a story that you already know. 

Watch "Francesca Battistelli - Write Your Story lyrics" on YouTube
Francesca Battistelli - Write Your Story lyrics: http://youtu.be/8_ghJA2Szs4