The Heights

Simultaneously I feel the wholeness and brokenness life seems to offer..  Driven with the desire to explore the unknown, I never thought I'd feel comfort in a dream I'm living right now. I've spent my life wanting to journey through the world,  gaining eyes and ears to see and hear in ways unknown to my own life. Today as I sit outside,  wandering what exactly I'm doing,  I realize it doesn't really matter because all we  have is time to explore.  Time to explore the things of life: love,  art,  music, desire... So many things the universe has to offer.  I've waited so long to feel this,  I thought it would look different and I had surprisingly unrealistic expectations,  but as I experience the authenticity of the unknown,  I realize this is it.. This is the adventure.. Spending time seeking identity and desiring wholeness,  I thought there would be tangible gifts that had a different form from what I now see.. The real gift I've been given,  is comfort of solitude.. Solitude has taken a form of tangible goodness that I appreciate more than I ever knew I could. Wandering in the wilderness,  I see the beauty of creation in a mesmerizing way.  Everything in the present  should leave me with a feeling of lonliness and confusion,  but somehow I feel the peace of creation.  The peace that exist when we rest in the unknown.. Trying to figure out comfort in a way that's inclusive of change and rest is beautiful.. Though comfort and change seem mutually exclusive,  I find today that there is an inclusive relationship between  the two.  As change has occurred everything I know says,  broken and lonliness is knocking,  but when I look and take in reality,  I realize I'm comforted  by the journey.