Reassessing

Dammit. It really is POWERFUL to reassess. The moments. Today has had some weird ass moments. But the hard ones, kinda took over. That loop. The weird shit your brain does when it repeats over and over something so insignificant but usually also, IRRATIONAL... and oh it for some reason then spirals down the most catastrophic rabbit holes. (Facepalm) 

Well, I let it get me today. And y’all, I done blown my WHOLE life up in my head today. So, come like 5:30 - I said to self “it is time to just open a bottle of wine, close the computer and go on to the next commitment that you have, but that commitment gives you joy and confuses you - but that sounds better than this shit show!”... then in true Pam fashion, I hope in a bubble bath.. candle light. Glass of wine. And hit the book. (Likely more to come on the book later, because the content definitely mattered!!!!) well, as I’m reading - pausing and diving into the things that make my soul truly able to see, I started to acknowledge the beauty of the moment. And the life I do have and the joys. And still felt weird and still do but what I did was decided to be vulnerable, and take steps and keep moving. And using time for good. Just GOOD. People. Love of people. Love of healthy, happy people, beauty. 

Y’all, then my baby brother. It’s so crazy, I can’t not say baby brother - but he’s a grown ASS, BADASS man. But he’s my baby brother - he added new photos to our family shred weekend in the mountains... & it took me back.! It took me back to just less than 36 hours ago, where I was disconnected from the pain, from the chaos, from the chores of others. But I was honoring the universe with so much worship, with my most beloved humans in this world and our close loved ones. And we talked, we learned, we grew, we rested, we explored, we sat in the utmost SAPPY gratitude - because WE have OVERCOME so much. We have championed through, but we also know there’s SO much more to be done. So we go into the day with open eyes and willingness to learn. I’m so thankful for the moments. And I’m thankful for my family for taking ALL of me. And all of this, is just an honest moment of vulnerability, may make no sense for anyone else. But it’s the authentic story I needed for my self today. It’s just a long winded way of me taking the moment to truly sit and acknowledge the beauty and POWER of reassessing!